Good ol’ Heaven

There is a version of the Bible in the Cockney dialect of English. It was written by (or translated by?) Mike Coles and is called “The Bible in Cockney: Well Bits of it Anyway…” Here is the Lord’s Prayer in Cockney:

‘ello, Dad, up there in good old ‘eaven,
Your name is, well, great and ‘oly,
and we respect you, Guv.
We ‘ope we can all ‘ave a butcher’s at ‘eaven
and be there as soon as possible.
And we want to make you ‘appy, Guv,
and do what you want ‘ere on earth,
just like what you do in ‘eaven.
Guv, please give us some Uncle Fred,
and enough grub and stuff to keep us going today.
And we ‘ope you’ll forgive us when we cock things up,
just like we’re supposed to forgive them who annoy us
and do dodgy stuff to us.
There’s a lot of dodgy people around, Guv;
please don’t let us get tempted to do bad things.
‘elp keep us away from all the nasty, evil stuff
and keep that dodgy Satan away from us,
‘cos you’re much stronger than ‘im.
You’re the Boss, God,
and will be forever, innit?
Cheers,
Amen.
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