Knaves & Other Insults

This page celebrates crafty, witty, and (somethings) down right strange insults. Please enjoy knaves & other insults responsibly.


“A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a
base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,
hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a
lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,
glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a
bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but
the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,
and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I
will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest
the least syllable of thy addition.” (Shakespeare, King Lear)

The unworthy, low knave!

Foolish, pointless knave.

Ugly, vexing, pitiful knave.

“You base football player.” (Shakespeare, King Lear)

Alexander Hamilton is “the bastard brat of a Sotch Peddler” – John Adams (Source)

John Adams is  “bald, blind, crippled, toothless.” (Source)

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“You speak an infinite deal of nothing.” (Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice)

“A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.” – Winston Churchill

“The more I see of men, the better I like dogs.” – Madame Roland (attributed)

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend … if you have one.’
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)

‘Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.’
— Churchill’s response

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.” – P. G. Wodehouse

“A member of Parliament to Disraeli: ‘Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.’

‘That depends, Sir,’ said Disraeli, ‘whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.” – Benjamin Disraeli

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Foote

“DESDEMONA: I hope my noble lord esteems me honest.
OTHELLO: Oh, ay, as summer flies are in the shambles,
That quicken even with blowing. O thou weed,
Who art so lovely fair and smell’st so sweet
That the sense aches at thee, would thou hadst ne’er been born!
DESDEMONA: Alas, what ignorant sin have I committed?
OTHELLO: Was this fair paper, this most goodly book,
Made to write ‘whore’ upon?” (Shakespeare, Othello)

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.” – Groucho Marx

“Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.” (Shakespeare, Richard III)

“His ignorance is encyclopedic.” – Abba Eban

“Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the
fool no where but in’s own house.” (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

Ungrateful, little cur.

“Hubert Humphrey is a treacherous, gutless old ward-heeler who should be put in a goddamn bottle and sent out with the Japanese current.” – Hunter S. Thompson (Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72)

“…Anyone looking at you would write you off as a brainless nincompoop with about as much intelligence as a dead rabbit.” – P. G. Wodehouse

Piteously blighted rapscallion and a glaring Internet-addicted knave.

Incalculably repulsive and sycophantic knave, whore-son bastard raised on hoecakes.

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. Now suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” – Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway

Lincoln is a “horrid-looking wretch, sooty and scoundrelly in aspect, a cross between the nutmeg dealer, the horse-swapper and the nightman.” – Stephan Douglas

“In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.”―Geoffrey Cottrell

Brutish, howling, foul-smelling knave!

Damned fool and idiot knave.

“What a man Balzac would have been if he had known how to write.” – Gustave Flaubert

“A village explainer. Excellent if you were a village, but if you were not, not.” – Gertrude Stein on Ezra Pound

“An idiot child screaming in a hospital.” – H. G. Wells on George Bernard Shaw

“Capote I truly loathed. The way you might loathe an animal. A filthy animal that has found its way into the house.” – Gore Vidal

What are you describing? This rock or yourself?

Emotionless, cruel, mean knave.

“I think you’re a dangerous, corrupt, lying piece of nine-day-old mosquito shit.” – Hugh Laurie (The Gun Seller)

“One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.” – Oscar Wilde

“Slice where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.” – P. G. Wodehouse

You are an abominably narcissistic dolt, a positively nauseating assault on all of the senses, such a deucedly debauched vermin, so debased and small-minded, in short, a proof of how far creation can fall and go wrong. You seem so cruelly depraved as to be almost worthy of pity, and yet, you are such a loathsome, shallow, beggarly, pointless, vexing, foolish, ugly, mad, contemptuous, and un-stalwart knave, vile whore-son, bastard brat of a half-breed peddler, that none could find even an ounce of sympathy for you.

Corrupt, utterly rotund, superfluous,  most-flea bitten, knave!